20
I can’t leave Tom.
The
anxiety that arose even at the thought was near to choking me and that in
itself made me stop and reflect just how off balance I was. In fact when I
thought about it, it was alarming how much. Flynn, still propping up the
doorpost, nodded at the hallway.
“I
just left Paul. He’s got his door open and an ear out.”
Rationally,
Tom wasn’t going to wake. Flynn was right. It was way past time to stop and get
it together. I followed him up to the tiny office at the top of the stairs just
outside Paul’s office, where we could shut the door and put the light on. It
was warm up there, I saw Flynn frown and cross the room and put a hand on the
wall heater and then turn it down, but it was stark as it had always been, not
a lot more than the computer, fax machine, desk and I saw now as well as the
chair behind the desk another wooden frame armchair had been added on the other
side of it. Probably to remind Dale if he was working up here that he might at
any moment have company.
Flynn
took the chair behind the desk and poured two generous glasses of slightly
amber fluid from the uncorked bottle, pushing one over to me. I recognised the
scent of it.
“David’s
bootleg stuff?”
“This
is from the new haul Dale and Riley found, to do with the train Dale’s been
researching.” Flynn leaned back in his chair, propping one knee against the
side of the desk as I took the armchair across from him. “Remind me to tell you
that story when you’ve got an hour.”
“Tom
made some enquiries for him.” It had taken his mind off immediate stresses at
the time; I’d been grateful to Dale for distracting him. I took a sip of the
moonshine which burned the sinuses but in a surprisingly good way. Some kind of
fruit lingered at the back of this; it had always tasted to me like a hybrid
between sloe gin in a particularly sweet year, and some kind of fruit schnapps.
Tom would like this.
“How
is he?” Flynn asked quietly. He was lounging with his glass between his hands
but his eyes were very steady.
“In
a lot of pain.” I took another harder swallow of moonshine. “Emmett’s put a
drip up to try and manage it more evenly.”
“How’s
your pain?”
“It’s
only a break, it’s fixed.” I took another gulp and Flynn leaned forward to
refill my glass.
“You
had surgery a few days ago; even you need rest. And if you were able to sleep
you’d be sleeping when he does, so are you going to tell me about it?”
He’d
see that. Of course he’d see that.
“I
did this to him.” I said to the desk. Flynn looked at me over his glass and his
braced knee.
“I
did this.” I said again, and it came out easier the second time, particularly
with another swallow of David’s white lightning. “This was my fault. I screwed
up, Flynn. Worse than I ever screwed up in my life.”
“How?”
Oh
where to start. I tipped my head back, looking at the plaster board ceiling.
This is the one artificial room in the ranch, the single one that is anonymous,
devoid of personality and might be anywhere, in any building. I always thought
it reflected the general view of the family towards it; a kind of functional
necessity and nothing more.
“Bad
decision after bad decision. I should have thrown Phoenix out the first time he
put a foot wrong. Tom knew. His instincts were right about Phoenix from the
start. Phoenix is young. Oh, he’s twenty three, I don’t mean like that, but
emotionally…. maybe somewhere in his teens? He’s – well. Bi, I suspect. Or
undecided, confused, he’s certainly not exactly straight. Not bright, making a
whole lot of stupid decisions with not much idea of what he’s doing or what the
consequences are likely to be, vulnerable in all the wrong ways…. It hit all
the buttons. I gave him chance after chance until he managed to get us in the
mess Tom predicted.”
“You’re
one of Philip’s boys.” Flynn said softly and succinctly.
It
was acute. I glanced up at him and he was looking at me with his dark eyes
steady. “You know I’d probably have done the same? We probably all would.”
“No.”
I said with conviction, because I knew Flynn and I’d seen him for years. With
Riley, with other family brats, most recently with Dale, and I knew how Flynn
worked. “You wouldn’t when you’ve got
your brat with you in one of the most dangerous situations on the planet.”
Flynn shook his head slowly.
“Was
it that simple? I know you too.”
I
took another, long swallow of the hooch. I needed it to get this out. “When we
got to base camp, one of our team – Bill’s brother – had set up a scam. Dead
loss clients that no other expedition would touch for basic safety reasons,
people with a lot of money but no sense or experience. There were no guides in
the expedition other than the brother and partner, no support, hardly any kit,
nothing. They planned on running unfit clients through the ice fall and letting
them fail, realise they weren’t up to the climb and head home within a few
days, leaving a very low cost expedition with a whole lot of dollars. But the
partner had a fall just before we arrived, so when we walked in Harry had the
whole expedition on his shoulders.”
“This
was when you bought him out?”
“Tom
and I talked about the options. But to be there in base camp with those clients
in that awful situation there, knowing we knew the risks to those people and
they had no idea–“ I shook my head, knowing it as much as I’d known it on the
day. “It would have driven Tom mad. He couldn’t have done it. Neither could I,
but Tom wouldn’t have handled it. So we had to find a way to make it work that
we could live with, or we were going to have to leave. So we bought the
expedition out, we set it up properly and as soon as it was up and running I
handed the management of it over to Bill, and Tom and I did our own thing as
much as I could manage. The stress got to him for a while but we got through.
He was … I thought doing pretty good, a whole lot of stuff was starting to come
up like I told you in the emails, and like you said, it’s a strong action not a
sign of falling apart. I thought it was good. But Phoenix was always pushing
and pushing in the background. Whatever the expedition did, there he was making
waves, and it was gradually escalating, he kept failing but he wouldn’t quit on
another try at climbing. And another try. Every time he failed the criteria to
go any higher he’d argue it and work on getting one more chance. And I always
gave it to him. Stupidly. I always
talked to him and reasoned, drew the line again and let him have another try
instead of getting rid.”
“Because
you believe in a basically good person.” Flynn said with comprehension.
Something
like that. I was ashamed of it at this moment in time. If ever there had been a
time for a rock solid no and the
determination to withstand and manage the fall out no matter what, without
giving in …
“So
this went on,” I said as lightly as I could, “And on, until even Tom got to the
point of voting for Phoenix to try yet again, I think because he’d given up to
the inevitability that I always would. So Phoenix came up with us on our way up
to the summit attempt. We knew he wouldn’t get far. He was the most decently
fit in the bunch of the clients; if you wanted someone to play tennis with he’d
be ideal… but not the stamina or the climbing skills. Fitness is not enough up
there. He gave up just above camp one and we escorted him back down to the
camp, left him there with two of our Sherpa guides to look after him and help
him back to base camp, and I thought that was it. He was safe and he was out of
our hair, and he’d got to climb as far as he could, we’d done everything we
could to give him a fair chance and to realise for himself he hadn’t got what
it takes. So we went on up and we made our summit attempt and on the way down…
on the way down, just off the summit, we found a Swiss kid. Loic. Amazing
climber, world renowned, we’d heard of him. He was making a solo ascent and
he’d collapsed, he’d been up there alone all night, no oxygen left and not
responsive, comatose, but still alive. He was huddled in under a ledge, we
hadn’t even seen him on our way up. You can’t assist someone up there but
leaving someone who’s still alive – I’ve had to make awful decisions before, I
was with the police- but in practical terms up there, there’s nothing you can do. We were running out
of oxygen by the minute.”
“But
Tom would never be able to let that go.”
“I
wouldn’t be able to let that go.”
“But
it was Tom you were worried about.”
I
nodded slowly. Flynn nodded agreement, taking another sip of his drink.
“Riley
would be the same. And Paul.”
“We
were climbing with a Sherpa friend. Dorje. Most experienced on the mountain of
the lot of us, he gave the guy his own oxygen mask and tank. We got him into
the sun, tried giving him fluids but we were running out of oxygen and we had
to move on. Dorje said he was going to stay another hour, give him a fighting
chance to revive. So I gave Dorje my oxygen. He’d sacrificed his own to Loic,
he was making a big sacrifice for this guy, and it was the best compromise I
could think of to make. We were leaving him there but we knew he’d be safe,
he’d have enough oxygen to stay that hour and still get down ok, and at least
then we’d done every possible thing we could together for Loic. We hadn’t just
walked away from him. Tom wasn’t happy with me climbing without oxygen but we
were headed down, we were moving fast, we did ok. The others stopped at camp
four for the night, Tom and I went all the way down to the camp three to be
safe since the oxygen level is higher there. And we got to our tent and thought
we’d done it. We were exhausted. I’ve never been that tired in my life and I
was hypoxic. Probably more than I realised. We’d been there resting about an
hour when the radio call came in that the weather was changing and some climber
was stranded on the ropes between camp two and three, and then as the
conversation went on we realised it was probably Phoenix. No one else was in
the area. No one was able to go out and help, no one’s got the capacity there
to launch rescue missions easily if at all.”
“But
you were responsible for your client.” Flynn finished. “And a particularly
vulnerable client. That was the choice.”
Not
much of a choice. I swirled my glass, watching the moonshine move.
“We
were exhausted. In no shape to climb further. Tom wouldn’t have stayed there
alone and let me go even if I’d been willing to leave him. But I couldn’t sit
there and just let the kid die. So we
got up and went down there and got him, between us got him moving down towards
camp two where we met a couple of our expedition Sherpa guides on their way up
to help, and that was where the rock fell and smashed my arm, just as the storm
hit. The Sherpas managed to get Phoenix down. Tom turned us around and got me
back up to camp three to get me under shelter, it was nearer. He short roped me
up. I remember getting to the tent. I think I probably passed out there and I
was out for hours.”
And
that ate the hell out of me. It was an effort to say it at all.
“Tom
was alone through the storm all night. The radios were down, I was out cold, he
was completely on his own. He got the tent roped down. He got me warm, he got
fluid into me, he was the one that kept going out into the storm to get more
ice for drinking water and to re set the ropes to keep the tent up… that was
how he got frost bitten. Exhausted, cold, no time to get warm because he was
trying to keep me alive. Stressed out of his mind which makes frostbite far
more likely – and when he got me to a hospital… Why didn’t anyone check him over? I know why. Of course I know why.
I know Tom. He was avoiding people, staying in the background. Or pacing around
with that come near me and die scowl. He was doing that on the plane whenever I
was together enough to notice and make him stop.”
“Not
everyone’s going to see through that and get the signals that he’s actually
scared out of his mind and wants pushing.” Flynn said gently. “You know we’ve
got one the same. Paul says the scarier Dale looks with us the more vulnerable
he’s feeling, and he needs you to take over. But if you don’t know what you’re
looking at – I’ve seen Dale scare the hell out people without realising he’s
doing it. It’s unintentional. It’s the survival skill set, they do what makes
people back off out of their comfort zone, what pushes away the threat, and
they do it because it’s always worked for them.”
“If
someone pushed Tom without knowing what they were doing…” I bolted more of my
drink, swallowing hard on it. “He’d run. You wouldn’t get near him. Tom doesn’t
lash out. He doesn’t. Hitting out at Phoenix – it was the last straw when he’d
got absolutely nothing left; that was all. I wasn’t even conscious enough to be
there for him through that.”
Flynn
listened silently.
“Impulse.”
I said eventually, bleakly. “Still just plain impulse, like shooting the hole
through the study ceiling.”
“It’s
a part of you. To be fair, it often works in your favour. And if you’d thought
through – if you thought it through now, all angles of it, with Tom,” Flynn
said softly, “Hypoxic or not, would you still give Dorje your oxygen? I can’t
imagine you would have wanted anyone else to do it, you would never have
allowed Tom to do it, and someone had to for you two to be able to move on. And
would you really decide to leave Phoenix to die on those ropes? Would you?
Because I think if you hadn’t gone down to him, Tom would have. And if you’d
had to make Tom stop, stay there in camp three with you and let Phoenix take
his chances on the ropes – without it being an immediate, clear-cut, life or death
choice – that kind of thing can seriously damage a relationship. But you still
had options, so you rolled the dice again. Both of you. And you kept on
playing. You tried climbing further down. You worked out how sick Phoenix was
and what you could do about it. You used up your energy reserves as a
calculated risk, and you made a plan of what you could feasibly do next. It was
never as straightforward as a yes or no. I think that’s part of what people
like you two take with you when you take on a challenge like Everest, and why
you do things few other people could do. It was how Tom got you back up to camp
three after the rock hit you, wasn’t it? You both think on your feet, taking
the options and chances, weighing them up, going with the best of them.”
“I
should have put Tom first.” I said heavily. “Every time. Ahead of Phoenix, ahead
of the Swiss climber, ahead of a whole lot of impulse and heroism. We were in a
lethal situation up there, I should
have made it simple every single time: what was best for Tom. I don’t
understand how or where I ever lost sight of that.”
“You
didn’t. It just wasn’t ever as simple as ‘Tom lives and Phoenix dies’. Was it?”
Flynn topped up his glass and leaned over to re fill mine. I seemed to be
getting through it fast. “That would have been easy. You had a hundred shades
of grey to figure out from the moment you got to base camp. What kept Tom calm
and able to live with himself and the situation without having to give up and
walk away from the mountain. What compromises could you find for him. Tom’s
independent capacity, his strength, his knowledge and experience as a climber
and a partner you trust and know you can rely on, compared to Phoenix’s
weakness, inexperience and being a responsibility to you both. Phoenix backed
you two into a corner in the worst possible moment. You chose between exploring
what you two could manage under the circumstances – and you might have decided
at any time on the way that you’d reached the point of having to stop, take
care of yourselves and leave him - or sitting tight and leaving Phoenix to the
mountain. He would have died, wouldn’t he? On those ropes, in the storm, no one
else would have found him and got him down in time. You have to let Phoenix
carry his responsibility for putting you in that god-awful situation in the
first place.”
“It’s
Tom I care about.”
“It’s
Tom you’re half crazy with anxiety about.” Flynn corrected me. “Mostly because
you’re thinking of that night he was with you unconscious on the mountain on
his own, and the hours he spent in that hospital on his own, and you can’t
stand that thought or how powerless you feel that it happened. That was not
your fault.”
“If
I’d died in that tent at camp three,” I said tonelessly since it was the only
way I could say it at all, “And there was every reason I should have, I was out
of oxygen, out of any energy left, in shock, bleeding, hypothermic – Tom would
have stayed there in that tent until he was gone too. And I know that.”
“No.
You don’t.” Flynn said bluntly. “I know you know Tom. I know he thinks in black
and white and yes, he’s got a will of iron, of course he has with the
challenges you two go looking for. But you don’t
know what he would have done when that became an actual reality and neither
does he. You don’t know what would have happened when the storm broke and the
others from your expedition found him. You don’t know what Dale or I or Paul
might have been able to say to him by radio if it came to it. None of us know.
And it didn’t happen. I know you’re beating yourself up about every risk you
ever took with yourself that by proxy risked him too, because you’re stuck on
that moment in that tent. This is guilt talking. You had reason for every
single thing you did. Everything. It was the best choice in the moment that you
could make for both of you, and you’re doubting it because of guilt.” Flynn put
his glass down and sat up, leaning on the table to look at me. “You're drowning
in it. And it's no good for you and no good for Tom, this isn’t what he needs.
If it was Tom feeling this way, you'd do something to shift him out of it.
Spank him. Refocus him. Move him beyond it, because you’d know that’s what he
needed to do. It’s one of the reasons for discipline we all use and we all
know; we don’t get trapped in it, we don’t bury it or ignore it, we deal with
it, we let it go and we move on because it’s done. We can’t change it. Now is
what matters. You have Tom to think of. He’s vulnerable now. He needs you now,
all of you, like he’s never needed you before and you have not got the time or
the luxury to get stuck. You’re the one that knows how to self motivate. You’re
the one who can, and sometimes it’s a bastard to do. But he needs you right now
to be who you are for him and hold the world together, and like you tell him,
you will get through this. You have
to believe it. Because if you doubt it, he will see it and he will doubt too.
So get your bloody act together.”
He
was the only person who could have said that and meant it, and yet still said
it with gentleness. It was more or less too the gist of what we both knew
Philip would have said, minus the swearing. You
have a responsibility here. But this was what motivated him and me. And
Philip. There were things we could find in ourselves and do for the people we
loved that we wouldn’t do for ourselves. And he was right. It was that night in
the tent that was stalking me the most. In all ways that mattered, I had left
him. To face that night alone. To be alone in that hospital, injured and half
out of his mind with stress and shock and exhaustion. Me.
And
there it was. Yes. Me. I was making this all about me and what I felt and what
I was upset about; that was not helping Tom in the slightest; my focus was in
the wrong place entirely. And now I could see it I recoiled from it. Flynn was
right. This was not a self indulgence I had time for.
I
drained the glass, put it down and sat up, and Flynn gave me a short nod.
“Good.
Now show me this Loudon kid’s blog. Who is he?”
It
wasn’t hard to find the blog; Google had it as a top hit. The smiling blond
face was all too familiar. It took me a second to process the picture of him
with the banner headline, and then a wave of familiar exasperated frustration
ripped through me.
“What? That picture’s faked! Good God,
he’s photo shopped it or something, and he’s claiming he summited-?”
“I
hear a lot of biography is mostly fictional.” Flynn skimmed through a few
posts, I was reading over his shoulder and choked as I found a few details.
“He gave his oxygen to Loic? And he summited alone with everyone in base
camp cheering? And he moved the guy
who died at camp four? He was listening in to us over his radio, everything he
heard he’s used!”
It
was so childish it was breath taking. Laughable, if not slightly pathetic. Tom
would be outraged about this. And then I skimmed down the next post and sat up
sharply, so angry my throat closed.
We’re both in high places
tonight and preparing ourselves to be worthy.
Flynn
was watching me, waiting for an explanation and I let my breath go in a long,
slow hiss. I’d never been this angry in my life.
“That
was Tom’s letter to Dale.”
And
it had been a deeply personal, trusting, open hearted gesture, a vulnerable
piece of his heart and soul. Which had been heedlessly appropriated for a blog,
just grabbed as some pretty piece of prose and used to gain attention, flashed
to the world. If I’d known Phoenix was doing this… if I’d had the slightest
clue… “
Tom
never knows about this part.” I said
flatly. “And I would try if you can to avoid Dale finding out about it, I would
hate for either of them to ever know they were used in this way. I had no idea.
If I had…”
If
I had, I would not have been responsible for what I might have done, but
Madeleine Loudon would be suing me on her son’s behalf for far more detailed
personal assault. Flynn nodded comprehension.
“We’re
safe with Dale, he and Ri don’t use the computer without permission. I’ll lock
this room tonight and make sure we keep it a bit more strictly supervised.”
He
was skimming down through the posts and paused, looking at a set of pictures.
All of Phoenix. In his tent. Outside the mess tent. In the toilet ice cubicle.
All of them must have been taken by him using his cell phone. Self portraits,
all of that same cheerfully smiling face. Always alone. It gave the impression
no one else had been in that camp but him, although he referred often enough to
us.
Was sad to say goodbye to
everyone at base camp and head out… there were a few tears and lots of hugs all
around.
Total
balls. He’d been stuffed on a helicopter and run out of camp in utter disgrace,
by Beau since no one else was on speaking terms with him. The entire camp had
been furious with him. Was this wishful thinking? Re writing reality? Did he
actually just not care in the context of the blog about anything but presenting
the picture he intended to?
I
really wasn’t sure I credited him with that kind of intellectual capacity.
I grooved on down the
Hillary step…
If
he’d been listening to any of us on the radio as we spoke down to base camp –
really listening – he had to have taken in more than that. He had to have
gotten the idea that every step up there was hard won, fought for. He had to
have heard what we were feeling and the agony it was to walk on and leave Loic
with Dorje when at the time we thought Dorje would be able to do no more than
be there with him when he died. Had to have heard Spitz’s tears. The flippancy
was shocking.
“What
do you think of the kid?” I asked Flynn. Flynn shrugged, eyes on the screen as
he read another few lines.
“I’d
like to meet the puppet master.”
“What?”
“There’s
nobody there. Look at him. The haircut, the look at me clothes and the look at
me name… even the writing style. It’s a processed identity.”
I
looked at him blankly. Flynn leaned on the desk to consider for a moment, still
reading.
“I
mean that when we take a client in here, we give them generic clothes and we
put their own clothes away for this exact reason. No hair gels, no blow driers.
No jewellery. No created front or image to hide behind, we want to know who
they are. Not who they dress up as. Someone’s manufactured this guy.”
“…
Some of the others on the team told us his mother was a minor celebrity, not
really known, and this was her publicist working on exposure for her and
Phoenix together. He climbed Everest, she wrote her articles about it.”
“Then
I suppose it might be the publicist creating the image he wants to sell. Might
be Phoenix himself. I’d like to know a lot more about the mother and their
relationship. But someone’s manufactured him. I can see why you refer to him as
a kid, other than that he’s aping the whole boy band stock image and hanging on
to teenager-hood with both hands. Kidult. The Walter Mitty stuff in the blog,
whatever he sees around him he just appropriates and uses as his. No
boundaries.”
“He
doesn’t really recognise any kind of boundaries. I know the type.”
Beau
had said as much; she and I had both spent years hanging out at the Great
American Boarding School and avoided that particular ilk of students; we’d both
hated them.
“I
went to school with plenty of them. Rich, spoiled, over parented, over attended
to. If they ever ran into any consequences for anything parents were on the
phone or at the school straight away to raise hell that anyone would criticise
their kid who was too delicate for that, had to be kept happy, never did
anything they didn’t want to, permanently bored… they bored me stupid. But he
didn’t follow the kind of – pattern – I expected. He tried a bit of emotional
blackmail once or twice. Pouting. Bursting into tears at me. But I ignored it
and he quit. Not serious looking for the upper hand past what he immediately
wanted, no real ambition to win, he doesn’t do power play. I don’t think he
knows how. He’s just surprised that you aren’t doing what he expects. He’s
actually fairly easy to stop and turn around. Compare him to Gerry when you’ve
got to wrench the wheel around on what he’s doing, Tom, Bear, Riley… Phoenix is
a breeze. It’s all nuisance low level stuff. Kids stuff. I kept expecting escalation but it never really
happened. He does pretty good charming and manipulation of people to get them
to do what he wants, like he did with the women from the Canada expedition, but
he’s not clever enough to keep it up for long or make it complicated past
getting his goal, he doesn’t even get as far as predicting what they’ll think
or do when they realise they’ve been fooled. When you stomp on it, you get a
bit of a pout and sulk and then he forgets all about it and carries on as
normal and expects you to do the same. Doesn’t seem to realise why everyone’s still
angry a few hours later.”
“Which
suggests it’s not really his script.” Flynn sat back, considering. “I can see
why you were sympathetic towards him.”
“What
do you mean it’s not his script?”
“It
sounds like maybe learned rather than intentional behaviour and he doesn’t
really get how it works so he isn’t good at it.” Flynn said briefly. “It takes
someone emotionally overinvolved – or dominant or not willing to relinquish
power to grow this in a kid.”
“The
mother?”
“Possibly.
Her name seems to be everywhere on his blog links, although he doesn’t mention
her much as a person or a presence.” Flynn followed one of the many links and
raised his eyebrows at the woman with fair hair and violet eyes that appeared
in the picture at the top of the page. “Yeah. This is one of her social media
pages. Skim that.”
I
took the mouse from him and skimmed. And found myself seeing something
immediately that became more and more apparent the more I read.
“… This is all about her. Well, the entries
are about him but…”
“It’s
not what he’s doing or what they’re talking about together, it’s about how she
feels about it.” Flynn finished for me. “What she’s doing, what she’s thinking,
how it affects her. She’s working hard on presenting this maternal role and all
the loyalty and suffering and sacrifice she wants to talk about on her part –
the mom of the adventurer - but he’s mentioned only in how she relates to him.
His actions are only mentioned in how they affect her. These two are very
tangled up together. Did he have a phone in the camp?”
“Yes.
And a laptop. Internet connection. He was blogging daily.”
“So
possibly talking with her daily, possibly even more? So what you would have
been saying may have been changed by whatever she was saying or steering him towards
that day. You say he shouldn’t really have been on Everest. Was it an ambition
or dream of his?”
“I’m
not sure ‘dream’ was the message I ever got from him.” I said, considering it.
“He came with all the flashy kit and the demands but there wasn’t really –
ambition. Drive. Not much interest in the place itself or the people. Or even
any idea of what he was going to do; the other clients had read books,
trained….he set off to camp three without taking oxygen, fluids, anything with
him, he’d got no real idea even after weeks of being up there with us.”
“So
his motivation was whatever happened as a result of the blog or his mother’s
publicity. There wasn’t a direct motivation for him on the mountain – so he
fakes the blog entries and borrows information and fakes the photographs, like
a kid cheating on his homework. He may have been encouraged to, or even helped
to.” Flynn thought for a moment, considering the pictures again. “It’s clear
she’s getting a whole lot of attention through what he’s doing. Lots of
admiration, lots of talking about her being a wonderful mother, all the stress
on her, how she’s supporting him…. from this site it’s clear she’s not hesitant
about the chat shows and interviews and photographs. I could be really cynical
and say I wonder if Everest was his idea at all or if he was sent.”
“He
didn’t seem to mind, he was quite happy to be there.” I said, reflecting on it.
“And it’s not a comfortable place to hang around unless you want to be there.
Not that he hadn’t brought a hell of a lot of home comforts but even so.”
“I
think there’s something going on in the dynamic between him and her.” Flynn
began to shut the computer down. “I’d be interested to know more of what it is,
but I can make a few guesses. The first of which is that I suspect you couldn’t
have ‘helped’ Phoenix any more than you did.”
I
looked at him, surprised he’d say that. Flynn shrugged, picking up his glass to
finish the last inch left of the moonshine.
"You
did what I would have done. You saw him as a vulnerable, bi or possibly gay
kid. You got the behaviour, you understood it, you saw past it. You're Philip's
guy as much as I am. But. We see this with clients. God knows I'm not Philip,
maybe he could do it if anyone could, but we've never yet managed to find a way
to work it out with a client who has someone in their life who’s invested in
keeping them dysfunctional. We screen carefully in our intakes because of it. A
wife, a partner, an associate - behaviour is all about meeting needs. If that
person is in the habit of meeting their needs through our client they'll
sabotage any change we can help our client make. They need our client to stay
dysfunctional to maintain their own stability and will fight like hell for it.
I suspect you weren't just dealing with Phoenix on the mountain, you were probably
much of the time dealing with mom by proxy. You were talking to him, setting
boundaries he’d agree to, and she’d then talk with him, restructure it in his
mind and give him different orders. If I had Phoenix here like we do with
clients, cut off the iPod, the computer, his adoring fans validating him on his
blog every day, got him out of the My Identity clothes, no hair gel, no props,
cut off all contact with mom…. maybe we'd see who he was. If he knows. But my
money would be on mom not being able to stay off the ranch. And resisting him
making any choices about making changes in his life. Or putting up any
boundaries with her.”
“You
wouldn’t take a client in that situation?”
“If
the client was aware it was happening, unhappy with it and actively wanting
support to break away, yes, definitely. And then it would be hard. But someone
not even aware of the dynamic they’re in?” Flynn shook his head. “If we took in
a client and I realised gradually that they were in this kind of dysfunctional
relationship then I’d help them work on their boundaries, their self image. But
I’d have to prepare them that it would probably change that relationship, it
may well get ugly and it may end the relationship altogether. They’re going to
need to be strong enough to withstand a whole lot of pressure and anger from
the other person to go back to the way they were comfortable with. And I’d be
prepared myself that the client may very probably leave the ranch and end up
going right back to it. It isn’t fast or easy to come to the realisation of
being a sock puppet in someone else’s drama. It’s taken Dale thirty years, and
he walked away from direct contact mostly when he was seven.”
“But
you thought something similar was going on with Tom.” I leaned back in my
chair, the moonshine had cast a slow warmth through me and I felt my shoulders
start to unknot for the first time in what felt like days. I was interested
more than I was alarmed now; to work on a shared viewpoint like this was very
stabilising. Flynn nodded slowly, filling his glass a little more and leaning
across the table to pour the dregs into mine. Somehow we’d killed an entire
bottle between us in the last hour. “I’ll tell you a story… edited and adapted
from a psychologist and a book I find useful. How well do you know your fairy
tales?”
“The
Grimm’s stuff? Yes?” Tom and I were both avid readers of the old blood and
roots stuff, those stories were old enough in themselves but summarised
thinking and myths and stories that were centuries old when the Grimm brothers were
writing it down.
“Ok.
Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty. Rapunzel. Let’s take those three. Start with
Cinderella. The adult figure has constant demands but no matter how hard they
work, the kid can never do anything right, is never allowed any recognition or
positive experiences, not so much the bottom of the pecking order than the
pariah, but they’re not actually rejected because the family don’t want rid of
them. The kid is wanted to be there being part of this game, because it’s
important to the family. This kid’s given role is to run around trying to do
right while constantly being in the wrong as far as the adult is concerned. The
adult likes it that way.”
“Tom.”
“Possibly,
yes. The scapegoat kid. The kid’s inner self manages by trying to please, burying
all the anger, internalising that yes, they’re never going to be liked or
wanted for themselves, they have less rights than everyone else, they’re not
entitled to resist ill treatment or abuse by others so somehow they must
deserve it, they are just inherently bad. But they never quite give up hope of
one day managing to do enough to be allowed to go to the ball, because it’s
held over their heads constantly by that adult: if you did it right, if you
pleased me enough I’d treat you well, so it’s your fault when I don’t.”
That
was shockingly painfully acute, I could see a lot of that in Tom.
“Sleeping
Beauty.” Flynn paused for a moment, looking past me at the switched on heater.
“The wicked witch – let’s call that an adult parental figure – wants the child
‘dead’ for no real, justifiable reason that ever really comes into the story.
The adult isn’t getting enough special recognition or feels threatened by the
child so it just does. But the forces of good – let’s call that the child –
protects and hides the inner self from the adult by putting it to sleep and
then surrounding it by an impenetrable forest of thorns. That’s probably the
one nearest to Dale’s experience. And then you have Rapunzel. The golden child.
So prized and so needed by the adult that the kid is locked up in a tower, out
of sight or reach of anyone else, the adult spends hours grooming the child to
be the way they like them – the long golden hair – with no independence, no
relationships with anyone but the adult. No loved so much as objectified and
owned. In the story, when the child is found to have established a relationship
with someone other than the adult, the adult attempts to murder them.”
“I’m
starting to wonder why we ever read these stories to children.” I said bleakly.
Flynn grunted.
“Most
of them are like this. For Rapunzel, the kid is apparently adored, but gets
taken over inside and out and gets used as an extension of the adult. The inner
self is not supposed to have any life or will of its own. Think about it. All
three stories: the adults are projecting themselves onto the kids like they
were blank screens. For Cinderella, the adult projects onto her everything in
their life that they resent and are unhappy with. For Sleeping Beauty it’s the
huge threat of their existence competing unacceptably with the adult whose
needs are more special, higher ranked. For Rapunzel it’s all the adult’s
grandiosity: the child is a mirror, too wonderful and special for the world or
anyone else but that all powerful, all providing adult. All three damage the
child’s sense of self, just in different ways. They internalise the projection
without realising.”
I
could see that too. It was ringing a number of bells. “And you think Phoenix
might have mom wanting to climb his hair?”
“It’s
a possibility.”
“It
puts it into focus.” In fact the more I thought about it the more it made
sense. “I could believe his mother was pulling strings. It would explain some
of the illogic of what was going on. And why he seemed so lost if we didn’t
play to his script. He didn’t know how to play on his own without mom sitting
there giving instructions.” I reflected a little further, in the comfortable
silence of the office, with no one else in earshot but Flynn. “Tom was starting
to think this through. About his parents, how they treated him, whether or not
it was – quite how he remembered it, as all his fault.”
“Which
is good.” Flynn said gently when I didn’t go on. “That questioning what he
remembers is good. It’s a long process. The logical, academic understanding is
easy, we get a lot of clients who’d love to do that part and leave it there.
The hard bit, where the real work is and the real progress, is experiencing
those feelings and developing some insight into them at the same time. Starting
to recognise choices instead of being driven by the programme, willing or not.
Override button. And kids get two choices when parents project their crap onto
them. Comply or fight back. Tom went the fight route. That takes one hell of a
lot of courage.”
Yes.
I drained the last of my glass.
“He’s
not short of that.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It
was fully apparent Flynn was going to be gone for some time, if not most of the
night.
Dale
dressed as quietly as possible, pausing for a moment to listen before he left
his room. Flynn had taken his station for the second night on the landing at
about midnight and around one am Dale had woken from a doze and stood quietly
by the door to watch Flynn take a bottle and two glasses through the doorway
that led to Paul’s study and known, with a deep rush of love for him, what he
was doing. And a moment later he’d heard Flynn and Jake’s footfall go softly up
to the study.
Which
gave ample and most convenient opportunity for the more mundane things to be
sorted out without Flynn having to trouble himself with those too. This was
Flynn’s forte, the people right here. The other stuff was Dale’s.
He
slipped quietly down the main stairs and paused for a moment in the dark family
room by the ticking clock. The pictures stood on the mantel by the fire and on
the book shelves, his own face was among them and for a moment Dale looked at
them, each face in each image. He was very aware of the study behind him. There
was a strong feeling that should he go to that dark doorway, should he go
inside – there would be someone there, and it was a good feeling. A reassuring
one. He had no time to check. He let himself out into the yard, closed the
kitchen door very softly behind him and pulled his jacket on there. Hammer
whinnied to him from the corral, and as Dale jogged soundlessly towards him the
huge cob came to the gate hopefully, shoving his head into Dale’s chest as Dale
unlatched the gate. A rope head collar was always kept on the gate post for
emergencies. Dale took that, slipped it over Hammer’s head and used the gate to
mount him bare backed rather than unlock the stable and take the time to tack
him up properly. Not that Hammer was hard to ride bare backed.
This
was probably going to be the height of lunacy.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
He
walked Hammer towards Mustang Hill, getting well away from the house before he
let Hammer build up to the canter the big gelding was keen for, clearly excited
by the attention and the freedom in the darkness.
Dale
had not previously visited the location of Mason’s camp site or the watch point
where Jasper, Luath and Riley were camping tonight. However from Riley’s
descriptions and a detailed internal map of the ranch, he had an approximate
location grid figured out to a hit or miss he thought of approximately eight
hundred feet. Half way up Mustang Hill he tethered Hammer softly to a tree,
left him there and walked along the dark path uphill.
They
would have chosen a location in which they had a clear overlooking view of
Mason’s camp while remaining unseen. That required high ground and cover. Which
meant Mason more than likely was on the bank below the steepest section of the
hill which dropped in a cliff down towards the river bank. That was the
location Dale would have chosen with the criteria in mind, and he was half way
along the ridge path when he smelled wood smoke and knew he was close.
It
was approaching 1.30am.
He
located the three sleeping figures on the ground from some way off, and well
behind the tree line he crouched down as Jasper had taught him, feeling around
until he found a couple of elderly pinecones in the brush. It was not difficult
to ascertain Riley’s figure from the other two: he pitched the first pinecone
lightly and with accuracy to strike the top of Riley’s head, and Riley jerked,
snorted and lifted his head. Dale tossed the other one more gently, saw Riley
put out a hand and catch it and look directly through the trees to him. There
was a whole mix of emotions there – delight, surprise, interest as Riley
realised had this been anything other than illicit Dale would have woken Jasper
– and then Riley sat up and crawled very quietly towards Jasper’s bedroll, lean
down to grasp his shoulder and speak quietly to him. And a moment later he got
up, pulled his boots and jacket on and walked down the hill to where they would
have picketed the horses to keep them from alerting Mason to their presence.
Dale
got up and slipped quietly back into the woods, moving as softly as he knew how
and retrieved Hammer, leading him down the dark path to the pasture below. He
saw Snickers trotting out of the dark some way to his left and led Hammer to a
boulder, using it as a mounting block. As they met, Riley jerked his head
towards the house and spoke rather softly and sounding slightly abashed.
“…
Jas says to tell you he’ll discuss this with you tomorrow. I was going to tell
him I had a headache and was headed home, but I didn’t get a word out.”
Dale
paused, shocked, and then came a second wave of relief and abiding affection
that he didn’t intend to interfere, and that was so typical of Jasper. The calm
trust in it. And it strengthened his determination even further, although
another voice added a memo at the back of his mind.
If I’d have thought this through further
I’d have woken and told him, not just Riley. Still good at the technical stuff
and ridiculously blind about the social stuff. Next time. No time for that now.
“What
are you doing?” Riley turned Snickers down the sloping pasture. “Is it bad
enough in the house you need company? I thought Flynn would be gone all night
listening out for Jake and Tom-”
“He
is, he didn’t see me go.” Dale said briefly, nudging Hammer into a brisk trot
down towards the house.
“So
what are we going home for?” Riley protested. “If we’re going to hang out in
the middle of the night let’s do something fun? Ghost hunt? ‘What’ hunt? Head
out to Three Traders? …. You’ve got a plan, haven’t you?”
Dale
leaned down from Hammer to open the gate into the yard as they reached it, and
Riley followed him. He’d also been riding Snickers bare back and he took the
head collar off, turning Snickers into the corral and stepping back to let
Hammer follow. Dale hung the collar on the gate post, latched the gate securely
enough that Snickers couldn’t chew it open, and took Riley’s arm, guiding him
through the shadows of the yard towards the barn. The dogs watched them
curiously from their beds under the porch, without bothering to get up as Dale
unlocked the door quietly with the keys he’d abstracted from their hook on the
way out, and took one of the items he’d acquired from the house safe out of his
pocket, closing the barn door softly behind them. Riley sat down on the nearest
ledge of closely stacked hay bales to watch him curiously.
“What’s
that?”
Dale
saw his wandering torch beam and put a hand out to warn him.
“Turn
that off, it’ll be seen through the windows. It’s a satellite phone.”
“You’ve
got a satellite phone?!”
“I’ve
worked in all kinds of locations with unreliable signals and now I live in one
too. Flynn knows. It’s part of the technology set I keep in the safe.”
Rarely
used but kept there, maintained for work emergencies. Which this counted as,
whether Flynn would agree or not.
“So
what the hell are you doing with it?” Riley watched him with fascination while
Dale rapidly dialed on the chunky handset, entering several series of numbers.
He heard the ringing sound on the other end of the line, then Ash’s voice, a
little foggy but calm.
“Hello?”
“Ash,
it’s Dale Aden. Everything’s all right, I am sorry to disturb you but I need to
speak urgently to Gerry.”
There
was a shocked silence on the other end of the line. Riley, beside him, looked
equally shocked. Then there was a sleepy exchange of voices in the background,
then the line clicked and Niall’s voice, sounding fully alert in the way of men
used to being telephoned at peculiar hours of the night, said calmly,
“Judge
Carey.”
“Niall,
this is Dale Aden.”
Gerry’s
voice cut in on the other line at the same time: “Dale. I love you, but you
really have to stop these middle of the night – Niall? Is that you?”
“Hello?”
another sleepy voice said and Gerry’s voice no longer sounded sleepy at all.
“Darcy? What’s going on?”
“Gerry?”
Another,
more irascible voice started to laugh in the background. “Yeah, ok. This is
worth waking up for.”
“Good
morning Wade.” Niall said very calmly. “Dale, what are you doing?”
“That’s
what I want to know?” Riley agreed.
“Calling
a meeting, and I strongly suggest we get on with it as fast as possible.” Dale
said crisply enough to shut them all up. “Riley is here with me, Niall, Gerry,
Darcy, Wade-”
“Don’t
try Bear,” Gerry said hurriedly. “I think they’re away on a fishing trip
anyway, but he’s in enough trouble. He’s very, very grounded after the whole Madeleine Loudon column thing and
forging my name, Theo didn’t take that well at all.”
“None
of them took it well.” Wade said dryly. “Trust me.”
“They’re
not answering their phone.” Dale did something to the phone and a distant sound
on the line shut off. “First I need to know if this constitutes enough of us
present to make a proper, quorate decision?”
“Darling
we never worried about all that rubbish, we just did it anyway.” Gerry advised
him. “What do you need? Ashley get off,
this is serious. It’s brat meeting stuff.”
“Dale,
hurry up,” Riley warned. He was listening with interest, calm, and with an
amused kind of focus that Dale could have hugged him for; not much shocked
Riley.
“Brat
meeting.” Dale distinctly heard Niall say in the background in response to a
distant voice, and then the quiet click of a door closing before he said more
clearly, “Go on Dale. We saw Riley’s email. Loudon’s blog and twitter feed is
exploding, we’ve been texting each other all evening. Gerry and Darcy both
posted that the expedition is querying whether the summit picture is a fake.
Two names who say that they actually were on the expedition joined in and
stated the picture has to be fake as they know Loudon never went near the
summit, several other members of other international expeditions have got
involved and are agreeing while calling Loudon a whole lot of names-” “ - Which
Loudon’s fans are not taking well at all, it’s a blood bath on there right
now.” Darcy added.
Which
only confirmed the need for speed. Dale interrupted both without compunction.
“Madeleine
Loudon is initiating legal action against Jake’s company. She has had papers
served to him here and she is suing Tom for assault on her son.”
“Tom
assaulted him?” Gerry said, sounding
much cheered. “Oh good, I’m so happy one of us has. Did he do much damage?”
“She is suing?” Wade demanded. “What is
he? Six?”
“Jake
has instructed his lawyers to lay counter claims, as Loudon endangered his and
Tom’s life and was the indirect cause of both their injuries-”
“Hang
on, Tom’s injured too?” Gerry demanded. “Why has no one mentioned this?”
“Frost
bite.” Riley said darkly. “Tom was so shaken up by Jake’s surgery and the
flight out, he didn’t realise until he was home and started to undress. Paul’s
seen it, he says it’s horrible. Tom’s on a morphine drip the pain’s so bad.”
He
was extremely upset about it; it was in his face and his voice and his body,
and Dale had not realised until this moment how much. He filed that detail
precisely away in an already carefully catalogued account as Gerry burst out,
sounding equally alarmed,
“Oh
my God, poor Tom! What we heard about their flight back sounded horrible
enough, if that had been Ash I’d have been out of my mind!”
“You
two may not be aware, but Madeleine Loudon is all over the tv and the papers,
the story about Loudon’s victorious summit is spreading in the national press,”
Niall said evenly, “Once the press get wind of the debate on whether it’s a
pack of lies a lot more papers will get excited and pick up the story. I know
Madeleine Loudon’s type well, I’ve seen her now in several tv news interviews.
I suspect she will have no problem at all with negative publicity or her son
being proved in the press to be a liar. She is interested in exposure of any
kind, as much as possible. Notoriety creates celebrity very effectively. She is
likely to make any attempts at legal action as drawn out and public as she
possibly can, with maximum exposure, and newspapers may be willing to bankroll
her to do so to keep the story rolling if it is popular.”
“But
it’s going to be bastard to get into court,” Wade argued with decades of police
career behind him. “It’s a civil case at worst and she’ll struggle to even get
it that far. Multiple jurisdictions involved, the alleged assault happened in
another country, actual witnesses so far online are overwhelmingly anti Loudon,
it’s going to be nothing more than Tom’s word against this idiot’s.”
“However
a lawyer can be paid and instructed to write and do more or less anything by a
client outside of court.” Niall pointed out. “Particularly a client he or she
has little control over. Once it actually reaches court things it will be
immediately impeded by the practical issues such as trying to sue on her son’s
behalf- I assume she’s interpreting it as damage to her personal property
having heard her speak about her son - but she can throw letters and claims and
statements around as much as she likes without much restriction on what they
say. They don’t have to be legal or factual, just being printed on a lawyer’s
headed paper gives it apparent surface validity and weight. And I’ll be amazed
if she doesn’t share all of them openly with any journalist willing to present
her with a platform.”
Gerry
hissed, a surprisingly angry sound down the line. “She won’t, because I will
personally scratch her eyes out. Argh.
The media would love it, the blog has all kinds of big name followers now. The
story could run for months like that while it waits to actually get into a
court room -”
“By
which time Jake and Tom will have been dragged through the public eye anyway
and called every conceivable name.” Wade said viciously. “Yes. Trial by media.
Even if the actual court part gets thrown out five minutes into a hearing and
Jake wins the counter suit hands down, she’s still got what she wanted. Chat
shows and magazine articles, reality tv bullshit… I don’t think she’s realised
who Jake is yet or that would be all over her column, but once she does that
will make it all the juicier as far as the media is concerned. She won’t give a
crap what happens to Jake and Tom in the process, they’ll be collateral
damage.”
“That
can’t happen. Can it?” Riley looked horrified. It was precisely the expression
Dale had anticipated and been utterly determined there would be no reason for.
And Riley turned directly to him to ask, rather than the meeting. Trusting he
would know, that he would have the right answer. He’d expected it, but to
actually see it, to see that expression on Riley’s face- it cemented every
thought he’d had since the legal papers arrived on the ranch, bedded it into
solid granite.
Across
the barn from them, seated in the dark on a high perch of stacked hay bales,
another man was also watching him. A man with wild hair and penetrating eyes,
elbows on his knees and the shadowy lines of an old cloth knee length coat
around his elbows on his knees above his riding boots. It was no surprise at
all that he should be there. Dale shook his head, cutting across the voices on
the telephone directly to answer both of them.
“No.
We will not be playing her game. She will play mine.”
There
was an abrupt silence on the line. Slightly surprised by it, Dale glanced at
Riley who nodded slow confirmation.
“…
Yeah, that sounded scarier than fuck.”
This
was no time for worrying about minor details.
“The
company is registered here.” Dale said to him as well as the others, rapidly
reeling off the conclusion he’d drawn hours ago when the tipping point on this
matter had been reached and the need for action had become inevitable. “Once the story begins to grow, the media
will inevitably come here, to Jake and Tom and to the ranch. Accounting for the
woman’s actions so far, every possible outcome I can plot leads to that route.”
There
was another silence, and this one was shocked for a different reason. Then
Niall said grimly, “Yes. I concur. And once the media discover that Jake and
Tom live in a group home of gay cowboys…?”
“Gerry,
don’t scream.” Darcy ordered very
sharply. There was a kind of stifled gulp from Gerry’s end of the line.
“I
can stop this, at source, now.” Dale said bluntly before they could waste any
more time. “I can be in New York by morning and I can end this. There will be
no further threats to Jake or Tom personally, no media will approach the ranch,
and any legal challenges will be abandoned.”
“What
the hell are you going to do?” Riley demanded. He looked somewhere between
horrified and fascinated. Dale dismissed the question with a shake of his head.
“It
must be done now, tonight, without wasting further time or allowing the story
to grow. I want to take a plane out, I will fix this and I will be back in
Wyoming by this evening. If this is
acceptable to you all, and this is the appropriate way according to the
traditions of this meeting.”
There
was another silence, then Gerry’s sharp, “Yes, go on!” was lost in Wade’s
voice.
“It’s
in the very best traditions. Go. You go on son, go do it. Who are you taking?”
“No
one, I’m going alone.” Dale said flatly. “This needs to be a professional hit.
Fast, silent, with as few people noticing as possible.”
“Fuck that.” Riley said flatly, putting
his hand out to pull the phone away from Dale’s ear. “If you go I go. I’m not
letting you jet off out of here alone.”
The
expression on his face was one that Dale knew. There was a second of faint
surprise that Riley would not only want to but be so determined, echoed a
moment later by Wade’s emphatic,
“Dale,
cut the crap. We’re none of us going to sit around on our asses while you do
this alone, that’s not how it works. Niall, you’re the best qualified-”
“How
soon can you two get a flight?” Niall interrupted.
“Now.
I-” Dale glanced at Riley. “- We - will be in New York by around approximately
eight to eight ten am New York time dependent on air conditions.”
Riley
gave him a sharp nod of agreement.
“I’ll
see what flights I can -” Niall began and Gerry cut in.
“Not
needed, relax. Dale’s got a knack at pulling planes out of the sky at will,
it’s a talent of his.”
Riley
looked hard at Dale, who nodded, somewhat reluctantly. “…I can arrange for you
to be at JFK by eight thirty. Go to Capital Region and someone will be there to
meet you.”
“Where
are you two now?” Niall asked.
“In
the barn.” Riley said pointedly, still looking at Dale although he released the
phone. “It’s the proper place to hold brat meetings.”
“And
who knows you’re there? You’re talking about this with our guys well aware
you’re calling, so I assumed your guys knew about it as well?” “Nope, he
ditched them.”
A
clamour of sounds and voices broke out on the line which Dale cut into, losing
patience.
“Look. We have Jake and Tom here severely
injured, neither capable of looking after themselves, with the ranch still to
be run and a client to be cared for. The others have their hands more than
adequately full, they are already doing everything they can and there is no time for this. I do not intend that
anyone will be any further distressed by this matter.”
Across
the barn, David gave him a very brief, curt nod that held full agreement. There
was another silence and for a second Dale was aware of the paradox of the men
in their various homes across the states, participating in this private
meeting, who had known David so well, who had held meetings in exactly this way
with him so many times – and that was crucial tonight - who had no idea of his
presence here as they spoke. Who would probably suspect Dale had a few screws
loose if he mentioned it. While he, Dale, who barely knew David at all, was the
one here needing to take his agreement into account. Then Niall spoke, quite
gently.
“All
right. You two get yourselves to JFK, I will meet you there. Dale, I won’t get
in your way. But Wade’s right, this is a family matter and that means we don’t
just send you out there on your own. We take responsibility too.”
“Good
hunting.” Wade said gruffly, entangled with Gerry’s,
“For
God’s sake you all be careful. And if you get the chance to get your hands on
this witch bitchqueen….”
“He’ll
tell her you said hello.” Darcy said curtly. “Go do it, Dale. Good luck.”
Dale
cut the call with his thumb, got up and brushed hay off his jeans, mentally
switching gear to the next operational stage. “Let’s go.”
David,
up on the hay bales, was gone. There was nothing more up there now than
shadows. Riley was up and moving ahead of him. “Better roll the jeep as far as
we can before we start the engine-”
A
man, a tall, lean and quite corporeal one, was leaning against the porch rails
in the darkness, his breath steaming slightly before him, arms folded, waiting
for them. Riley came to an abrupt stop with a yelp of shock and Dale crashed
into his back. Jasper came quietly across the yard to meet them, jacketed as
the night was crisp with a frost forming on the grass, but hatless and with his
long hair loose over his shoulders as it often was at night when he was hunting.
“What
was outcome of the meeting?”
Riley
looked blankly at him. Dale stepped around him, phone in hand, actually not in
the least surprised that Jasper should know. It was both a dependable
supposition and a highly logical one.
“For
me to go to New York, now, on behalf of the ranch, and stop this business with
the Loudons before it gets any further. I can do it and be back by this
evening, the agreement was that Riley should come with me, and Niall will meet
us at JFK.”
Jasper nodded slowly, apparently not surprised
by that either. Taller than Dale, in the darkness the lines of his face were
all triangles, even more pronounced than usual.
“And
are you asking me or telling me?”
Interesting
question. Dale paused and reflected for a moment, wanting to be sure he was
quite honest in his answer.
“...
With respect, both. Since I am acting on behalf of a quorate brat meeting. This
matter is not going to cause harm
here, I won’t allow it.”
Riley
sounded like he was barely breathing. Then Jasper gave Dale a calm nod.
“I
assumed the plane up on the landing strip was yours?”
“You’ve
got a plane up there?” Riley demanded. Dale locked the barn and passed the keys
to Jasper.
“Yes,
since about six pm this evening.”
“Do
you need any help?” Jasper asked him. Dale shook his head, putting an arm
swiftly around Jasper’s neck to kiss his cheek with heartfelt appreciation.
Jasper hugged him in return, strongly, a quick and powerful pressure of all of
him that surrounded Dale for a few seconds, and Dale felt the light but quite
definite contact of Jasper’s hand on his butt as Jasper. The briefest of pats
but it held his attention all right, all of it, in a way unique to this house
and these men. And Jasper was perfectly calm. Not reproachful, not at all
concerned. They might have told him they were going to repair a fence and he’d
have accepted it in this same normally purposeful way.
Riley
hugged him too as they left the yard, leaving him standing watching by the
gate. Dale broke into a rapid, steady jog over the grass, seeing Riley fall
into step and pace him easily. As they left, he saw the other figure now over
by the corral, leaning on the fence rail beside the shadowy outlines of the
horses. He raised one hand to touch two fingers to his forehead and flip them
out as Dale met his eyes, a salute that held the same ironic amusement Dale
felt at all this, as well as grim approval.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It
was about a ten minute run together through empty, silent and frosty pasture up
to the landing strip. The small jet standing in isolation in the dark with its
lights on began its engines at the sight of them. It was only then that some
part of Riley truly began to believe this was going to happen. He followed Dale
up the steps, watching him nod briefly to the woman who met them at the door in
a way that would have had Paul demanding he came back and tried an actual
hello. The steward did not seem at all surprised and smiled at Riley although
it was Dale she followed into the cabin, the door already closing up behind
them.
“Good
morning Mr Aden. We have a course plotted for New York, we can leave
immediately. Our estimated arrival time at JFK is approximately eight am
Eastern Time.”
“Thank
you, I need an additional flight scheduled immediately, a plane to Capital
Region to collect two passengers under the name of Judge Carey, flight plan to
JFK, return flight to be determined later today. I will need to meet them at
JFK no later than eight thirty am this morning.”
It
was the kind of tone Riley heard him use on the phone sometimes; not at all the
Dale that he lived with.
Unless he’s really, seriously mad about
something and then he doesn’t do shouting, ranting, slamming doors mad. He does
quiet, Clark Kent pulling off the glasses and leaping tall buildings kind of
mad.
Riley
followed him with affection, understanding it and tonight deeply appreciating
it. The cabin was remarkably like a particularly expensive office. Leather
recliners were on either side of a large, polished wood table, what looked like
a drinks cabinet stood to one side and the woman was already heading at speed
towards a door marked ‘air crew’. “Yes sir. I’ll make the arrangements now.”
Dale
took one of the recliners, indicating to Riley to take the seat next to him,
and Riley sat down with his eye brows steeply raised as the engines began to
gun in earnest and the plane began to roll forward, still getting his head
around the idea that they were here. They were in a jet, headed out to New
York. Then he grinned and buckled his seat belt.
“Have
you any idea how dead we’re going to be when Flynn hears about this?”
Dale
nodded slowly, considering. “I’m estimating odds of approximately 1/98.3.”
“You’re
making that up.” Riley accused. Dale raised an eyebrow as the plane lifted up
off the pasture, climbing rapidly into the night sky and leaving the ranch
below.
“I
can give you a detailed overview?”
Riley
dug an elbow in his ribs. Dale gave him a grin that held probably more humour
and definitely more mischief than should properly be expected from someone
chartering planes in the middle of the night, and signalled the steward, who
rapidly provided him with a laptop, phone, and pile of printout from a fax on a
nearby shelf. Riley watched him start up the computer and flick through the fax
with growing interest, and Dale glanced up at him again.
“Sorry,
I’m going to need quiet while I do this. You might want a book, or a movie or
something, I can-”
“You’re
starting the circus act.” Riley made himself comfortable in the leather
recliner, tucking his feet up under him. “I came to help. Play with your
monkeys and get them in a row.”
Dale
took him at his word. It was kind of fascinating to watch. Dale disappeared
into the kind of high speed, intense work mode Riley had seen him use at home
on occasion, data started to fly under his fingers on laptop pages in streams
that made no sense whatsoever, faxes began to arrive in reams and Riley
listened in silence to the calls and rapid discussions to multiple people that
were taking place, using jargon and shorthand that made it difficult to
comprehend what was being discussed, even after a childhood spent hanging
around these kind of meetings. He was so damn fast. And intense. Dale could type at ridiculous speed and talk
calmly and quietly to a phone at the same time; he appeared to Riley’s eye to
be doing at least three things at once. He had no idea what Dale was working
on. But it was extremely hot, here tonight in the dark, with the United States
rolling away far beneath them and that memory of the secret night meeting in the
barn by conference call. A fricking conference call. But in the barn, because
that was where such meetings had always been held. All so very Dale. Several of
the calls he made were not in English; Riley decoded one as being German but
the rest were anybody’s guess and he just listened to the sound of Dale’s voice
streaming out the sounds and phrases. It was only when the woman brought them
juice and pastries about an hour later that Dale paused long enough to look up
and Riley leaned over to look properly at his screen now it could be done
without disturbing him.
“What
are you doing?”
“Cutting
off Madeleine Loudon’s life support.” Dale indicated to the steward. “May I
have a second laptop please.”
He
might have said the word ‘please’: it was still to Riley’s ear a command and
not a request. The steward immediately provided one and Dale flicked it on,
found the webpage he wanted and turned it to Riley.
“Can
you list every mention of Jake, Tom, the expedition and the reported sequence
of events?”
It
was Loudon’s blog. And yes, he was right; this needed to be done by a family
member, not a stranger. Riley grabbed for a pen and pad of paper from the rack
by the table and paused, finger on the mouse as he looked at the photograph
they had seen yesterday morning.
“Starting
with this picture on the summit?”
Without
looking Dale put his hand on and raised one of a number of print outs the
steward had brought him.
“Image
forensics report. Loudon’s face photo-shopped onto the body of a French climber
who summited four years ago.”
He
had an image forensics report. God only knew what else he had in the neat
spread of papers on the table. Riley nodded slowly, not saying several things
that came to mind right now, or doing anything distracting like punching the
air and cheering, because if he’d had at any point the slightest doubt that
this was going to be a win – a straight win
– that doubt was now long gone.
“Does
the French climber know?”
Dale
drained his orange juice and went on working. “Not yet. I hope he never will
do.”
Copyright Rolf and Ranger 2015
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